Lost In Beauty-

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Even though we were nothing, I still felt that we had something. There was a spark between us. I miss those days that we spent together talking I miss the way you used to hold me so tightly and hold me back so that I would always be close to you, but now it's all gone. All of it, and I don't know what to do now. I really liked you, I knew you liked me, but I didn't act upon it. I miss our deep conversations, our constant laughs, our silent times on the phone. I miss all of that, and I really do miss you. I wish time would go back, and freeze into position where you and I were still together. To the way that it was before. Why was I so stupid? I thought we had everything in control, I thought our future would be the same, but I guess I was wrong. I was about all of it, about everything. I was scared .. I didn't know what was going to happen, so I let you go. And I've lost you now, I've cried countless nights for you but what good can tears do ? It won't bring you back to me ... It won't do me any justice but yet I still sit here reminscing about what used to be , and what could've been. But it still changes nothing . And yet I know where I stand with you , what I mean to you and I know we could never be more than just that .. Though, I know there is nothing else that I can do, except to try to forget everything we ever had, forget our memories that we've created but I can't do that, it'd be lying to myself, and to my heart. Though I have to in order to move on, and I know it's going to kiill me to try, but I can no longer live this way, constantly living in my dream where you and I are together, constantly wishing that you were mine, constantly blaming myself that it was my fault you left. That I wa the one who pushed you away .. Even though it's true . Even though it was my fault you left , and moved on without me. I can no longer cry for you, wishing to myself, and hoping one day, I'd be back in your arms. I know it may not seem like this to you, but I really wanted you to know this. I wanted you to know how I felt, though I know you may not care, this is the only way I can reach out to you. The only way possible, at least, for me. I honestly don't know what to do . I've gone through countless senarios to help myself through this . But I'll just leave it at what it is . Me without you .
I miss you .........

the beauty exposed ;